How to support yourself while emigrating? A psychologist explains
Is it true that 10,000 steps can help overcome homesickness, and why are regular meals, to-do lists, and expat chats a must for any newcomer? Gestalt therapist Marina Kozinaki explains.
For this, support in several life areas is necessary. Try to provide them for yourself, and then your psyche will adapt to losses faster and easier.
1. Physical sphere:
— Your own consciously built daily routine will help restore a sense of agency (only you plan your day, and no one can take that away from you).
— A daily walk of at least 10,000 steps a day in the new city will help relieve anxiety, maintain activity, and quickly familiarize you with the new place.
— Regular meals. Stress can reduce appetite; if this happens to you, be sure to eat regularly and variedly, just in small portions. Remember: your brain really needs nutrients to cope.
2. Emotional sphere:
An adult knows that all emotions are normal and should be experienced in the moment. It is the voice of the inner adult that can override the voice of the inner critic, who usually shames for sensitivity.
Your emotional state will change from curiosity and admiration for another country to emptiness, anger, and unbearable sadness. All these states need to be experienced without suppressing or devaluing emotions. If seeing a psychologist is not yet available to you, provide yourself with a safe place and company where you can cry, swear, confess fears, and praise yourself for decisions made.
And please remember that grief in emigration is often compared to the pain of losing a loved one. Do not forbid yourself from experiencing it.
3. Analytical sphere:
Oh, this is the inner adult's favorite sphere! Daily lists will help you here, even if you've never used a planner before. Create a detailed plan for the coming month.
— Write down necessary tasks: go to the migration service, figure out money withdrawal, get oriented with prices, find a supermarket, inquire about kindergartens. Each of these tasks is BIG AND VITAL. If you manage to do at least one a day, you're doing great!
— As quickly as possible, try to include work and learning a new language in this plan.
— Learn the language of the country you arrived in (if you plan to stay here long-term).
4. Social sphere:
Activity in the social sphere is a necessary component in the prevention of depression.
— Find expat chats and groups, communicate and attend live meetings at least once a week. At first, it might seem like you don't have the energy for it, that the people there aren't in your circle of interests, or that you're not in the right mood. However, it's worth remembering that we are social beings. We start to feel better when we are surrounded by people who are experiencing something similar.
— Try to get to know the locals: your neighbors, the waiter at the nearest cafe, the shop assistant. To start, simply greet them and show friendliness. Then you can gradually practice speaking the country's language. It will be easier for you to adapt if there are familiar faces around.
5. Spiritual sphere or sphere of meanings:
We can endure anything if we understand its meaning. Or if we independently imbue it with meaning.
Long before us, a vast number of heroes embarked on journeys, often against their will. This is how all tales and myths of initiation begin: the hero leaves their homeland, ventures into a terrifying dark forest, into the realm of the dead, descends to the bottom of the sea, only to return one day as a completely different being.
— Yes, you are far from home now, but think of it as a journey, a part of your own story.
— Lean on experiences described in literature. Memoirs of real people or fictional works whose heroes also found themselves far from home will be suitable.
— Think about what higher purpose your own journey could have? How can it develop you as a person?
All these methods will help you maintain mental and physical health, feel a little better and more stable. The main thing is to make a deal with yourself and start acting.
